I don't wanna be anything other than me

i'm tired of all this.....really, i said i was gonna be more "nomariana" but really i can't....LISTEN TO ME.....I'M THIS....IM ALL THAT....THIS IS ME....THIS IS WHO I AM!!!!!

again, i'm so so sorry if i made you mad or sad....you know this was never my intention...and never will be....but you gotta understand me...please...please see my side of the thing....i dont do this on pourpose(is right?) you know me....you know i'd never do any thing see, ANY THING to harm you.....i love you and you know that....and you love me i know....and im glad.....so thankful for having you by my side....

im sorry for today, but you know....im dont regret that...maybe some parts...but i'd probably do all the same...im sorry!

this is me!


and im really thakful for having this amazing bff @ropedrozo, to hold me, hug me, and not letting me cry...and more then ever making me laught....fechando o cu o morro grande..... ;) ....bjs


"beverly hills thats where i wanna be!"

shake it off

so queria poder dizer aqui uma coisa q eu ate ia dizer no twitter mas la n é permanente....entao aki é o melhor pra dizer isso.....
depois de uma "volta" pelo orkut, e ver umas coisas por ali, e ate o @rpedrozo me disse...."faz poker face" logo, esquece, abstrai.....nao dá!!!!
só queria poder dizer q to com um odio tao grande dentro de mim que quase n me cabe.....qro gritar bem alto, e bater demais, surrar tanto ate deformar a cara feia da poha de uma pessoa, pq eu acho que devia ser crime alguem ser tao feio assim.....sei la uma opniao minha neam.....
se nao tivesse um amigo aki do lado pra me abraçar, ia fazer a maldita de alguem agora.....que terror viu....é mto feio eu pensar assim, eu sei, eu sei, mas qr saber? n posso fazer mto contra isso......me sobe uma coisa de la de dentro tao forte....q so falto matar alguem agora.....
ai quer saber? sao mais de quatro da manha, eu me diverti demais hj, e FYI sem vc.....ri demais....dançei demais.....to bem viu.....! thanks for asking ¬¬
vou dormir pq eu realmente to sick of it....of you, of IT, of all this, and all that.....any way......really sad/mad/crazy....


bjs

don't know any title

Eu precisava postar essa muscia AGORA, por que de fato ela diz muito do momento, na verdade nao só do momento, mas do que eu sinto.

FLAWS AND ALL
Beyoncé Knowles


I'm a train wreck in the morning
I'm a Bitch in the afternoon
Every now and then without warning
I can be really mean toward you

I'm a puzzle yes indeed
Ever complex in every way
And all the pieces aren't even in the box
And yet, you see the picture clear as day


I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
Catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
And that's why I love you
And that's why I love you


I neglect you when I'm working
When I need attention I tend to nag
I'm a host of imperfection
And you see past all that


I'm a peasant by some standards
But in your eyes I'm a queen
You see potential in all my flaws
And that's exactly what I mean.

---------

And I really mean that....So here's a thing that I've wrote in my imunology class instead of paying attention, LOL...(minutes latter)...okay forget it, I wont write it here...again , let it be.....I said what I think already, it's up to you now....right, no more of THIS here....don't like to write about it, and all......what ever...
I'm really too confused right now to write any thing that makes any sense at all....

(some more minutes latter)
Well....nothing valid to say, so I'll just be 'shhh' right now...

Going to Iguape for the weekend again... ^^ yaaay \o//


Oh, one thing I rememberd just now....hey other you that I won't say the name either...I love you(still) and I miss you, and I hate little fights that makes absolutly no fucking sense, I know you miss me/us/we too, so please....open your mind/eyes/heart just a bit to see reason....thanks! ;)



now its all....folks...mates...what ever you think you are for me....I don't know

o post de hj é tao de desabafo que se desse como blolquear p ngm ler eu faria isso, é so msm pq eu preciso falar....e as vezes é tudo tao corrido, e tudo tao depressivo tao, restart, que parece que ngm merece/quer/precisa ouvir....ou eu so nao qro contar pra ngm, mas eu preciso falar....
odeio como saber ingles as vezes te deixa um pouco mais depressiva, pq isso significa que vc entende as musicas que ouve, e certas realmente nao ajudam mto em momentos assim, isso te faz querer chorar com musicas como 'last night' do strokes....oq ue de fato é uma coisa mto ridicula né pelo amor de deus, eu tenho oq? 14 de novo? nossa......me sinto a mais ridicula dos seres qndo to nessa poça de tpm dos infernos......nao sou merecedora disso, devo ter catarrado na santa ceia ne, nao é possivel...bom.....sei la.....ja perdi o sentido de ter começado esse post doido, e esse blog tbm.....á pá puta que pariu todo mundo também......eu sou oq? o papa? mae diná? presidente?....nao posso fazer tudo, ser linda, legal e educada ao mesmo tempo né? um dia eu desmorono meu povo.....me deixa paz okay?
qndo isso acontecer e vc perceber....so me da um abraço se sentir que deve, é so disso q eu preciso um abraço tao bom qnto o da minha mae mas que n seja só o dela....poxa.....
tbm to escrevendo td sem mto sentido mas oq vem na minha cabeça msm e pronto.....nao sou pasquale tbm pra escrever tudo certo e com paragrafos, nem ligo pra isso hoje.....

nao sei se sou bipolar ou falsa, ou so mto boa mentindo....pq eu sei rir ali e voltar pro blog e cry my feelings out.....é foda isso, poxa, se eu pudesse seria uma mariana tao diferente dessazinha que sou...menos cri cri, menos velhota reclamona, mais comportada, mais comprometida, mais dedicada, mais cuidadosa, mais carinhosa, mais amigavel.....tao menos MAriana Citty.......*abraço now*.........ai quanto lamento que coisa nojenta, que ser escroto da lama do norte asiático....hunf parei.....

a little bit longer

I was thinking while walking my dog tonight and you know I'm really selfish....because look...my thinking problem was that I don't really have point about beeing so jealous...and so I put all my facts together and suddenly realised that I'm selfish, and not jealous as I thought...really bad to know that, specially about my self!!
So look, the thing that made me reach that conclusion is: I don't really see my self dating or really loving him(like I used to), and I really want him to be as happy as someone can be, because he really is my best friend, he knows me sometimes better than I do, it is of course a bit of jealousy, but all this make me think that is all about beeing selfish...you know, I don't whant him to have someone because he will left me alone, and maybe I don't whant him to have someone because I don't have someone....that's a really awful way to think, and believe me...I feel really embarrassed to say this here because I'm no way proud of it! NO WAY! -
So, that leads us back to this text very first lines...I don't have a point to be so rude, and all this things that I'm, and I know I'm loads of things...
Yeah....all I can say, with all my heart, besides the usual, but true I LOVE YOU is that I'm really, really, really sorry....you have no idea how bad I'm feeling right now, I'm trully so so so so Sorry!!!! Please be happy and please do not live me for beeing so rude all the time.

So, continuing my thought, the conclusion I've reached is from now on, I'll always be queit and polite.

That's all.....for now at least....and just to say, here's a tip...this text is in english 'cuz I know specially you will understand!!!

Thanks for evrything ;)

baby please don't tease

I'm a bit down today...don't know why, really, well I shouldn't be like that 'cuz I was supposed to be relaxed, calm for staying the weekend in Iguape....but no, well at least now, thats not the reality...I'm stressed, I wish so bad I could, just have my "sweet" thing,you know, those things we all want deep inside...well maybe not that deep, but yeah I know we all have wishes...and I'm sure I'm not the only one who "wish so bad" those things....but I really don't care what other people want right now, I want my "wishes" and I want it now....yes I'm spoiled, aaaand no I REALLY don't care what YOU think!!
18h18h now...***wish***, YES, one more!!!!hahaha there's always room for one more!!
I think is the afternoon that is not good for me....I always get down this time....well anyway, I gotta find a biologist job, or I'll get really insane in here, you have ANY idea of how..I don't know...boring, this is for me? it's all gray, all day long, computer, papers, this click noises....HATE THIS.....I AM A BIOLOGIST!!!! B I O L O G I S T!!!!!!!!! I can't take long times with no green, no animals, no real nose, besides ring-rings, and clicks and OMG!!! I am really driving lunatic!!! A zoo would be heaven for me.... =)
- Besides complaining, well I don't have nothing better to say....at least not today, well I do have one more thing to say....I'm really afraid to dissappoint some friends...well if I do, I'm REALLY REALLY REALLY sorry!!! I don't mean to!! and I'll try not to, but you know me.......I'm really open to new friends, and 'we' will be friends!!!!!...positive thoughts!! Yaay


the best side of me....or not! I don't know...LOL

yes, we can!

na cabeça: "Não espere eu ir embora pra perceber, que voce me adora..." acho que é Pitty, nao sei nao!
dia 30/04 foi aniversario do meu Cat e da Carolis, fomos nun karaoke da terceira idade e ahasamos na Madonna!!!...hhahahahahaha, o pós n foi lá essas coisas, mas tudo pelo niver do Cat(@thiagoposarle) né! Bom, várias fotos tiradas, muitas risadas, e....no dia seguinte, que foi a verdadeira batalha, fomos p casa da Carolis, pro Cat falar com a Sogra Zazá....enfim, o dia foi longo, mto stress, mta TPM e nao foi só minha, mas a noite "compençou", foi bacana!!! bom.....domingo foi dia de shopping, foi legal até certo ponto né, que esse povo é mto stressadinho, e nem é de mim que eu to falando!!!!hahahaha

Tá, chega de falar da via alheia, hoje nao fui nem pra facul e nem pro trabalho pra ficar em casa e estudar DEMAIS pra integrada, só de falar nessa prova já me dá uns revertério doidera aqui dentro de mim...que AAAAI meldels, chama o SAMU...ahahahahahahaha - not!!
Vou por uma foto que eu adorei, pq quem esta na foto significa demais pra mim, sao tres pessoas, q eu nn imaginei gostar tanto, tenho muito respeito por eles, muito amor, considereção, e amizade de verdade! e eu sempre pensei que "ahhh A fulanA é minha melhor amigA"....tsc tsc tsc, nao é uma menina, na vdd sao tres...meninos, meninas, pais, maes, tios, IRMÃOS!!!!!! por eles eu ouço madonna, assisto futebol, aprendi de vdd a gostar de futebol, vou no estádio, deixo de estudar, estudo, aprendo, erro, faço, falo, canto, saio feia ou bonita, sou grossa e mal educada no extremo, ajo como nunca me imginei agir, sem vergonha, sem meias palavras, e sempre a menininha q eu sou, mimada, chorona, e carinhosa! - amo voces!



-@ybdantas "mor"; @thiagoposarle "Cat"; @ropedrozo "Rô!" -

aqui, quieta me calo!

"Eu sou mais do que os seus olhos podem ver."