here I am

here i am, but for how long i cant tell you...cuz' im not quite sure!
after all this time with out posting not even a picture, i can say that nothing really changed...so if you wanna now what's up...read the previous posts....

but you now, once again its good to just inform that this blog is purely of me to clean my heart, though no one reads this shit, what matters is that im good by writing it anyways....

so right now, i can say that the worst fear i've ever had....it became true......i fell like i have absolutely no friends...i only have ppl to hang out with, but none of then really cares whats going on with me....you know, i fell like i have no fucking shoulder to lean on....besides my moms......thats fucking sad....and thats mostly why i want to get out of this fucking country hell!!

id rather have an indian friend(nothing against indians this is just an example) then stay in brazil with no true friends at all....

you know, jessica could be anything(and she surely was) but besides all that shit, she was a nice, good friend...and then all the shit happened, and i was with out a friend.....then i re-met yuri and it felt better then jessica's time...then aaaaaall the shit happened again....
so i guess im due to be shitty....it okay, im gonna be over it, as soon as i get OUT OF THIS FUCKING COUNTRY!!!!

i express my self better in english anyways, so i dont belong here!!! im due to be royalty!!!!! sorry!


the good news...

-november 5th im going to rio de janeiro to try to get my US Visa so i can....
- go to Disney in january!!!!!!!!


hell yeah you people! im going to disney land...to see THE WIZARDING FUCKING WORLD OF HARRY POTTER!!!!!!!


plus, im preparing all of my stuff to go to london in two years hopefully!!!



thats pretty much it!!!


XOXO ;)

eu tenho medo do inseguro

eu to me sentindo tao idiota esses dias....tem tanta coisa passando pela minha cabeça...
eu acho que vou escrever em ingles, pq eu acho que me expresso melhor assim....sei la
bom, nao, vai ser em portugues mesmo que é p todo mundo conseguir ler!
quer saber?
esse final de semana eu ouvi alguem me dizer: "toma uma atitude uma vez na vida"
e eu acho que ele ta certo viu?....eu devia mesmo? pq eu sempre ensaio dizer tudo oq eu tenho p dizer, mas nao eh o espelho e nem o meu travesseiro que precisam ouvir!
ta, mas beleza nao vai ser hj q eu vou gritar nomes e zaz aki....
eu devia mesmo sair, chegar e pa falar tudo q eu sempre quis. mas pra que?
pra eu faria isso? se no fundo, no fundo, eu SEI que nao adianta!
eu sei que ele nao liga, eu sei que pra ele tanto faz, eu sei que pra ele oq vale mesmo eh o sexo, eu sei pra ele eu sou uma amiga mto legal, eu sei, eu sei de tudo isso...=/
mas e dai? qq eu posso fazer? esquecer n da po, nao eh assim que funciona....toma no cu viu, pq comigo?
pq sempre comigo? vai ser otaria assim na puta que pariu

ah eu falo palavrao mesmo, nem ligo que ninguem le essa bagunça aqui....

mas pra mim eh diferente pra mim oq importa nao eh o sexo, e nem oq parece, ou oq os outros pensam....nada disso importa pra mim....alias para mim eh bem pouco que importa...

eu qria sabe? nao precisar passar por isso, e ja que to tendo que passar qria que fosse mais simples, eu com ele, ele cmg...
ah ja perdi todo o sentindo nesse negocio aqui...como sempre!

enfim, eu devia mesmo tomar uma atitude uma vez na vida, so no qria foder tudo de vez, deixa pra la vai...
ja falei demais, e se eu ler tudo mais uma vez eu apago tudo.....

hunf

e so p descontrair o ambiente:

eu e o pedro henrique(sobrinho)

mais uma so pra descontrair mais um pouco?
hein?
eu rio na cara do perigo! como ja dizia o simba no rei leao 1 ne...ahahhahahahaha
so espero que nao apareçam hienas tentando me comer, como no filme,,, ;)


mais uma? mais uma? vc gosta de ver o circo pegar fogo né?
entao tá mais uma!


hahahahaha nã nã nina nao, mas ne, é como dizem, fica sempre a dica ai ne......ou nao!

im always gonna wanna blow your mind

the title is a song by train called hey, soul sister!
listen, it's a really good song, at least I like it, you should give it a try!
So after a long time, here I am posting something totally non-sense, but at least posting, come on!!..hahahaha
nothing really good happened to me this days...
just the usual, job, college, stressed a lot...family/friends issues...nothing to different from others lives..I hope!

Oh, I know something that I didn't posted here yet....I'm the official photographer of the P.D.I band...now u may ask me, "hey, Mariana, what freaking band is that?" so I answer you, they're not famous, yet I hope...hahahaha it is my friends band...
and may I say a pretty good band, they're getting really better...so I may post some pics latter...if I feel like it. of course

I just started a new semester in college and, it seems that is gonna be hard, again, I don't know really...you see, I love biology, but it's like biology doesn't love me back...or I'm really stupid...I'm such a bad student..I try so hard....but nothing seems to work...I must try harder its the best I can do....


and once again, I can't wait to go to London...I feel like I don't belong here....maybe I don't belong there either...but I'll just know that when I get there, so I must go....and actually I don't plan getting back here to this mess we call brazil....
there in england may not be the best country, but hey...I hope it's better then in here, and may I say, I believe it is!!!

how ever it is, is there I want to be....is where I want to live, to work, to try my infinity best, to study more and harder, to date, to go out, to drink and get drunk, to have sex, to marry, to make my life happen!!!!!!!!
And pretty soon I hope...
thats why I'm working as hell, in something I don't even like, AT ALL.....
I'm saving all my money, I'm studying english, that's what I pray every night for, that's what I dream of every freaking time I put my red head in my pillow....that's my dirty little secret...maybe not so dirty and not even secret...but fucking yeah IM GOING TO LONDON, NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!


oh well...another thing I must say... I freaking hate pms...at first I get really rude, and angry..then, I just want to cry about every little thing(like right now) and in the end I get all happy and dirty...ahahahaha if you know what I mean...

so yeah....
that's a fucking big post, for someone who don't have anything to say...but that's what a blog is for right?
so I can say what ever I want....and so I did it!


aaaaaaand that's the end for today folks!


e pra vc que não sabe ler inglês, vá aprender, estamos século XXI(21, pra vc que não sabe números romanos) já passou da hora de você saber a língua mais falada no mundo, ou vc acha q vai longe falando um português mal falado?

E para você que só gosta de ver fotos...que bom, pq eu adoro postar fotos =)

me and my nephew Pedro...i miss him!

who gives a fuck?

Oxford Comma
by Vampire Weekend


Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?
I've seen those English dramas too
They're cruel
So if there's any other way
To spell the word
It's fine with me, with me

Why would you speak to me that way
Especially when I always said that I
Haven't got the words for you
All your diction dripping with disdain
Through the pain
I always tell the truth

Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?
I climbed to Dharamsala too
I did
I met the highest lama
His accent sounded fine
to me, to me

Check your handbook
It's no trick
Take the chapstick
Put it on your lips
Crack a smile
Adjust my tie
Know your boyfriend, unlike other guys

Why would you lie about how much coal you have?
Why would you lie about something dumb like that?
Why would you lie about anything at all?
First the window, then it's to the wall
Lil' Jon, he always tells the truth

Check your passport
It's no trick
Take the chapstick
Put it on your lips
Crack a smile
Adjust my tie
Know your butler, unlike other guys

Why would you lie about how much coal you have?
Why would you lie about something dumb like that?
Why would you lie about anything at all?
First the window, then it's through the wall
Why would you tape my conversations?
Show your paintings
At the United Nations
Lil' Jon, he always tells the truth




-----best songs ever!!!

Listen to them....Vampire Weekend Really awesome!!!!
I could post all of their songs here...LOL

i wont sing love, if does not exist!

so okay its been a wile i dont post any thing in here...
a few thing had happened...not the good the good ones but, you know...i cant complain any ways...
for example im posting via macbook, but my macbook not any mac book.....THIS ONE IS MINE!!!!all mine, payed with my money...my fuck sweet money....okay...thats the good part....and pretty much the only one.....yeah...
so you know....i have not much to say, but....im not all happyness....again...a few friends left...dont know if i can trust them all...
the few i knew i could trust, passed me away, i guess that one wanst good to trust...any ways, the one i know really will always be with me, is really far....and you know i have lots of friends...amazing ones...but....i fell incomplete....
maybe, you know, im hopping that when i get in london it will get better....so wanna cry right now...but you know, if i cry....it wont fix anything....i fell cold...but not because of the weather...well also cuz of the weather...but i fell cold in side....i dont feel happy at home, i dont fell happy at college, i dont fell happy at work, i dont fell happy when im with my friends...yes i have some good laughs...but that doesnt mean happyness...like at all!!!!!
what i mean is.....i dont know what i really mean......i miss my school days....i miss friends...i miss.....ME!!!!!


THATS RIGHT, I MISS ME!!! I MISS MY SELF....

im not this crazy, old, cranky, mis-loved woman.....hell NOT!!!!!!!

damn it!!!!

"i wanna hear you say that you are sorry again, i wanna hear you say that im so much better than you" - hole


oh fuck no one read this anyways.....
but i wont say what im thinking....just to keep my dignity.....you know right!

my itunes really dont feel me cuz its just sad songs......

"cuz u dont know what u've got untill it's gone"

YEAH...THATS A LOT ITUNES!!!!!!!

oh now im good thats what im talking about itunes... playing velvet revolver....

okay.....what ever....
im gonna download some demi lovato songs...and i dont care what you think about that, or about me now that you read that....undo this ugly face you just did when you read "demi lovato" try to listen some music, pay attention to the lyrics...and then you can tell me that im ridiculous....yes thats right, im rude....so what?

maybe the better for all

you know what? Ive just decided another thing...and may i say..it can be the better for all or not...i know is not the best for me cuz illl be really sad and probably will cry bunches..but i believe is the best i can do right now, if u know what i mean....i will just back off...yeah, back off... I believe is better for me(or not) not to be so close...cuz if it all goes wrong(like it seems to be) i wont be so hurt...
Ive past some realy shit in my way just because i was the nicest one...and i think its time to be harder so i wont sofer later on...
Well....who knows right?....i hope im doing the right thing...for now it seems to be...

OMFG, title?...IDK, WTF...LOL

we may be just a bit weird, but that's what make's us special! im always havin' a goof time with 'em...whem im sad they make me happy, when im fucked up they make me see the better side off all....love you guys, my cook friends..^^ LOL
- well ive seen some really amazing english girls blogs....omg, they'r so stylish, and are no tafraid of wearing any thing, vintage, big heart-shaped glasses..so cool...
my mum is trying to convince me not to go to england, she wants me to go to ireland...really mum? i mean...REALLY?...okay, not against irish people, no way, they seem really nice, polite, drunk(thats not a bad thing!...AT ALL)...but u know, its london for god's sake...i know i might be abused, or i dont know ill-treated sometimes, cuz im brazilian or cuz i may be a bit slow in understanding at begining...i dont know, any thing cat hapen...i just know im going to london, i plan to work, study, date, shop, drink, live, be all happy there...and may be hard, but i know i can do it...i know ill handle it, just hope they let me try to do it, the imigration people...hey accept me, im all nice!!!...lol- and crazy, but thats like bonus...ahahahha-

whatever im just saying shit here right now....ow, i gotta learn blog thing to let my blog pretty...it looks so trashy...well....
i must lunch and get back to work right now...

oh my final exams are over and i'm all smile!!! anyways.....bye, for now...w/e
- and just saying, i'll avoid any thing that may let me sad/mad/angry...however much it hurts me...i figured its the best for all, and for now at least, as im not capable of doing diferent, is better that way, which it seems okay by you, sadly.---ohhhhhh well.....what ever ill not think of it cuz it really makes me sad, and i dont wanna cry right now, cuz i think i wont stop so easyly....

i wont read it all to see if there's some mistakes, so if you find some...sorry! ;)

Doggy pic now ^^